


Save it for the judge

by Zoya113



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: F/M, Mentions of murder if thats a tw, otherwise just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 18:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20999591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113
Summary: Emma’s been watching a few too many true crime documentaries





	Save it for the judge

**Author's Note:**

> It’s shOrt bc I’m a dumbass working on a 3rd fix it fic (quarantine??? Don’t know her) & studying for my finals simultaneously

“Oh what a dumbass!”

Paul emerged from the bedroom to find out why Emma was talking so loudly.

He found her sitting comfortably with her legs crossed on the couch, sinking into the pillows with a bowl of food in her lap. 

“What’re you watching?”

“True crime documentary,” Emma answered quickly, too taken by the story to even look at Paul as she spoke. “And this idiot’s gone and-“ she picked up a piece of popcorn from her bowl to toss at the TV. “The interrogators we’re like ‘is it possible you had an accomplice who forced you to do this?’ And this fool went ‘yes there was, he’s forcing me to do this so I was too scared to talk about him before. But here’s exactly what happened, he made me do it. It’s not my fault, to prove there was an accomplice I will now tell you exactly how the crime went down.” She scowled at the screen. “Dumbass. Now they’ve got him.”

“You haven’t stopped watching these shows all week.” 

“They’re good,” she bobbed her head his way, her eyes stuck to the screen. “Like look at this idiot, left his fingerprints on the doorknob,” She grunted as she stuffed her mouth with a handful of popcorn. 

“Because you’re so good at committing crimes?” Paul elbowed her, tuning into the story himself. 

“Well if I was gonna kill someone I mean,” she waved her hand out to the side. “I would wear gloves at least. This was a premeditated crime and everything. He’s an idiot.”

“What’d he do?” 

“Broke into his ex-wife’s house and abducted her kid and...” she made a gesture with her hand that implied he killed her. “He’s crazy.”

“Wow. Don’t show this to Bill. He’ll get ideas.”

Emma snorted so hard she had to clap a hand to her nose. “Bill wouldn’t kill Alice? What’re you even saying?” 

He laughed at the sound of her’s. “Oh but he hates his ex-wife though. Sheesh. You’re lucky you never had to meet her,” Paul shuddered. “Alice is still in the closet to her.” 

“Oh, I’m Alice’s new mum then,” Emma declared, shuffling on the couch so she could lean closer to Paul. She sounded like she was about to continue before she leant forward on the couch, her jaw dropping. “Oh look! That’s it, they’ve got him. He practically just admitted it. I’m calling it now.”

“You’re already an expert. Just throw your Bio degree out the window and go be a detective.”

“Detective? Oh no,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m going to commit crimes,” she glanced up at him innocently.

“I don’t like the way you look at me when you say that,” Paul edged away, a mock look of surprise on his face.

“Oh, I’m not going to kill anyone,” she paused to think. “Probably.” 

“Probably?”

“I’ll set Beanies on fire, fake my own death, you get the insurance money and then we pack up and get out of this place.” She curled up the edge of her lip to poke at her teeth. “Just throw a few of these in there for identification. That’ll get em.”

Paul gave a small yet genuine gasp of surprise. “Em, how many of these have you seen?”

“Alternatively, if Bill’s ex is such an asshole I mean...” she trailed off suggestively. “Get a movie ticket as an alibi, wear shoes that are bigger than my size, get a wig.” She then gestured almost braggingly to the TV. “Wear gloves, can’t forget that.” 

“But you’re telling me everything. Now I’m a witness.” 

“No way. Cops wouldn’t even look at me, I never met his ex. They wouldn’t ask you. She lives in Clivesdale, they wouldn’t even look my way.” Her tone wasn’t serious, but it wasn’t joking either. “But hey! Anyways! Would you really testify against me in court?” She gave him a light, scolding slap. 

“It’s a murder! Em!”

“Fine! Maybe I’ll just like, break in,” she shrugged.

“That’s it,” Paul shook his head. “I am not comfortable with this much crime talk!” He took Emma under his arms and pulled her into his chest, muffling her mid-sentence. 

“Hey!” Emma looked up, not able to pull away from the hand Paul had on her back. “I’m not really gonna kill anyone, promise!”

“I’m banning you from true crime videos. You’re getting ideas. I don’t want you going to jail!” Paul put the bowl of popcorn into the table so it wouldn’t spill on the couch when he pulled Emma onto his lap. “Banned.”

“No!” Emma didn’t struggle, letting Paul keep her down. “I love them!” She frowned petulantly. “They’re scary and weird. I’ll go watch them at Hidgens’ house.”

Paul knew realistically he couldn’t stop her. “The next crime committed in Hatchetfield, I’m pointing my finger at you.” 

“You’re too hot on my case, detective. I’d watch out if I were you. It’s always the witnesses that go missing next,” she gave him a very flirtatious wink that he didn’t crumble underneath. 

“Nope. That’s enough evidence to ship you off with. You’re under arrest.” 

“What?” Emma exclaimed as Paul pushed her forward, pinning her arms behind her back. 

“You heard me.” Although he was careful not to hold her too roughly. “Arrested. Banned. Going to jail for pre-meditated crime.”

Emma tossed her head back to grimace playfully. “When I break out it’s over for you, bucko.”

“Sure, Perkins,” he gave her a quick kiss, tightening his grip on her hands but letting her settle in his lap as the documentary rolled onto a new episode. “Save it for the judge.”


End file.
